Meanings
by metacognitive
Summary: “‘You are a Black, child. You are what others wish to be.’” What it meant to be a Black. ::Rated for my paranoia::


_Summary: "_'_You are a Black, child. You are what others wish to be_._'" What it meant to be a Black.  
Characters: Narcissa Black Malfoy  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort  
Rating: T for my paranoia and things nobody will notice.  
Note: My first Harry Potter story; please be kind when criticizing, I'm still trying to characterize them correctly._

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**_Meanings_**

_Ambition drove many men to become false; to have one thought locked in the breast, another ready on the tongue.  
~~Sallust_

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_"You are far from perfect, young one...simply do as you are told and that is what you shall become."_

Narcissa Malfoy, née Black, was expected to be perfect. She was to get married, produce an heir, and support her husband and family in any cause they supported. That just happened to happen, and that was what she was supposed to be content with.

The only problem was her heart.

You see, Narcissa always cared too much. Loved her sisters too much, worried about her cousins too much, fretted over her husband and son too much.

_That_, in itself, is _not_ perfect.

_"You are a Black, child. You are what others wish to be."_

Not only that, but she was to marry a _pure-blood_, not some filthy half-blood with messy hair and a loose look about him, always spouting nonsense. Despite that, however, she still found herself eyeing the Gryffindors oddly, wondering what it would be like if she- nonsense; _ridiculous_. That's simply _horrifying_.

One thing she could never get past was her aunt Walburga's obsession with purity. Yes, Narcissa believed that marrying a pure-blood was the best choice of marraige, but she didn't understand why Andromeda had to run off all for love.

Was it really worth it?

_"Do not speak out, Cissy. This is what should be done by all."_

Bella's choice horrified her. Why, _why_ would she _willingly _do that to all those people? Yes, they were mudbloods, half-bloods, _filth_, but still- they were humans, no? And then she tortured _pure-bloods_. Although, in her defence, they were blood-traitors- member of the _Order of the Phoenix_, honestly!

Still, Cissy tried to stay clear of it all. She had Draco to take care of, Lucius to worry about, and Andromeda to spite.

She loved them.

Really.

_"Surely you are not **afraid**, Narcissa. The Dark Lord has treated you and your family so kindly..."_

She didn't want the glory, the advantages, _the recognition_. What she wanted was her husband back to normal, her son laughing again, her sister sane. She wanted to be a _family_, how they were before Draco ran off to Hogwarts and Lucius once again submerged himself into Hogwart's business.

Narcissa was sick and tired of all the suffering the Dark Lord was making them go through. Lucius went from one of the most trusted to one of the most disgraced. Draco was sucked into the same fate as Regulus. _When will it all stop?_

She was always afraid of the answer.

___"Cissy- Narcissa- listen to me-"_

She'd stopped caring awhile ago. All she wanted was her son back, in their homes, without dark magic chasing him. For Merlin's sakes, he was only sixteen! The only reason _he_ had given Draco the job was because of Lucius. _It wasn't fair_. Everything they knew, everything they _loved_ and _needed_ and _were _was being torn away from them by people who were supposed to be there, to _care_, and good God, _there was nothing she could do about it_.

_Help me_, became her mantra. _Please, please- help me_. As long as they came back safe she was happy. As long as they were _alive._

_Please..._

_"You shall obey, Narcissa. Your opinions are not needed."_

The worst part was Lucius. He was reduced to nothing after Azkaban, and even after he was back and safe in her arms, he remained distant, alone. He prevented her advances, didn't allow her near him, not to comfort or love him.

Her heart broke every time.

The arguments, the shouts; they took their toll on her. She couldn't accept her role as _nobody;_ she craved something more, she wanted to protect her loved ones. But she stayed, always by his side, ready to protect her husband and son no matter the repercussions. _Always._

___"Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?"_

It was over. She didn't want anything to do with _him_ anymore. _He_ was the one who destroyed her- _them_. She couldn't going to sit and do nothing, allowing her family to die for a cause that nearly all had lost faith in. She _wouldn't_.

Some may still wonder why she betrayed him; why, even though her sister had given _him_ her heart and soul, she could so easily turn on him, faster than a blink of an eye. And, truthfully, it was. But it also wasn't. She risked _dying_ for them, betrayed not only her master of so long, but her own family as well.

But then again, she always had loved too much.

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_A/N: The third to last and final quotes are from book six and seven of the series.  
__Love it? Hate? Questions, comments, concerns, or insults? Press the review button and lay it on me._


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